Imaginary World
by Ellie and Joel-The Last of Us
Summary: I haven't given you a way To say the words I cannot say Yet why bother with this fate You never came, it is too late You flew away just like a bird I draw myself into these words
1. Chapter 1

Imaginary World

_I haven't given you a way_

_To say the words I cannot say_

_Yet why bother with this fate_

_You never came, it is too late_

_You flew away just like a bird_

_I draw myself into these words_

Imaginary World

_I haven't given you a way_

_To say the words I cannot say_

_Yet why bother with this fate_

_You never came, it is too late_

_You flew away just like a bird_

_I draw myself into these words_

The story of Red.


	2. Chapter 2: Imaginary World

Chapter Two

As dawn grew around his hungered body, he woke with feelings of ironic freedom. Had he not been free for the past days? Yes, he had. There was no mother to feed him, no angry mate to claw him, no enemies to kill him. But the real freedom, in truth, came from the feeling of wilderness. When no one was around to hear you sigh, and you could do many things without being judged.

He relaxed himself onto the cave floor, scraping his claws unintentionally against the ground. The little white blur below amused him slightly. Sometimes he'd see past the brown and white of trees and snow to see red, blue, or even a shadow of black. _Cats. _He would feel so far away from his "banished" life, then see it before him again, perhaps able to call out to it, but resisting the will every time. He wondered if they were the cats that had circulated his mind during his entire childhood, when searching for the better home for him and his si-.

_Don't. _He shuts his eyes, and tries to change it to something else. It seemed every time he mentioned something from his past, it spiraled into a series of events, recreating his life before his eyes until he would become restless, deprived and depressed. The Tom opened his Celeste blue eyes and stared again towards the forest below. He beautiful it would look in the new-leaf. But he would only be able to scent the cats, and it brought new danger.

His contemplations were put to momentary rest as a scuttling sound issued from the side of a cave. A gaunt and bony rat was hurrying for its life, past the cat, its lithe feet doing nothing to speed its departure. Red was too quick. Red was too fast. Red could catch that thing in no time. The Tom gave a crooked smile and crouched on his haunches, springing after the prey and sinking claws into what was left of it. He bit down and ate at the rat, his latest meal in days. His stomach would maybe now stop trying to eat him from the inside.

He felt a sense of pride of being self-taught in about almost everything that led him to this survival. Yet, like almost everything, his prey would resemble something from his past. Whether it be his haughty, bitch of a mother, or his oddest friends. He looked at what was left of the rodent. It never had a chance to live on its own. It was too scrawny, a sad mark left on its life as it came to conclude like this. He ate the rest of it, more slowly, more painfully, in thought.

Red stared down at the forest again. No knew scents made him want to go down there. He was safer up here And instead of using all of his strength for an aimless stroll down his jagged abode, he might as well try to sleep, and conserve his energy to later use. He hated his sleep though- his dreams often appeared with dark foreshadowing and hidden messages that did uncover his past for him quite a bit. He dreamt things undesirable to any cat.


	3. Chapter 3: I Took It For Her

Chapter Three

"Wake up, Spark. Wake up now." A falsely sweet voice coos into his ears as the Tom and she-kit both stir and move shakily without any real motive until they stumble to their paws. "Yes?" Mumbled the Tom, shaking his head and blinking twice. "Go and catch something for your parents in the forest today." Commands the voice. Spark looked up at the Tom who the voice belonged to. It was amazing such a grey, ugly beast could pull off the feat.

Spark growled a little. "We tried that yesterday." He protested. His paw pads were still sore and thick from hours of wandering around, trying to stoop and claw at every morsel they ever saw. He knew it was more difficult for his little sister Tess, who was not only smaller than him, but unusually slow at everything. "You shut your mouth, you dirty weasel. You will go out there and find _something._" Alder spat, knocking the kit backwards with one blow of his paws. Spark had something in his eyes as he strode forward again, sneering up at his father was a loathing that few kits ever had for their parents. "Why don't you? You are the one suppose to be taking care of us? Not us!" He hissed.

The Tom's whiskers twitched in amusement. "You really feel you deserve to talk to me like that?" He asked, lowering his head next to the kits' in a soft and deadly manner. "N-no." Gulped the kit, quickly loosing his pride and sense of place. "That's right. Now go." He shoved the kit into the blinding light outside the cave and soon after, Tess.

"Tess, what will we do? I can't hunt! And you can't either!" Squeaked the Tom. Tess shook her head, her eyes blank and mysterious as always. "You don't anything." He muttered as he trundled through the forest, all the leaves littering the ground.

Tess snorted to herself, watching her tail for a moment with interest before running after Spark. The wind chill became less severe as the day dragged on. Time after time the red/ginger Tom bounced after the lumps of fur running away, and he never caught any of them. _He'll beat me tonight. He'll beat me tonight. _The voice drummed in his head, and he didn't like to hear it. Tess would be spared, Spark would always be the one to stand in front of her and take the unsheathed claws to his soft pelt. She would never know that he was doing this for her.

The night fell as a black pelt over the earth, finally ending the horizon. It was too late, too dark, to catch anything. The kits' sight was not yet fully adjusted to the fur of night. Paw pads swollen and cut from thorns and stones, Spark and Tess retreated for their home.

"You think this is good? You think so?" Alder lashed his tail, a vile expression pinching his already monstrous face. "We are kits." "Who will pay for their languor."

An impulsive feeling came across Spark- he shoved Tess against the wall, protecting her as he took a breath and shut his eyes, and took his little claws to the ground, bracing himself for the pain.

Sharp, thick needles invaded the fur and flesh of the young kit, a centimeter deep, but deep enough to cause massive pain. Tess stayed silent, flapping her ears around wildly behind him as Alder finished up hiss punishment.

"Things will be better." Spark murmured, feeling the blood. Lena's voice was heard from the far end of the cave. "Let him go."

Alder purred, detracting his claws. He couldn't remember if it was a purr of a voice. Just something buzzing in his head before the unconscious state took over.

"We need somewhere safer to be." The red Tom meowed one morning to his sister and his mother, while they were stirring. Alder had left the home, his whereabouts still not clarified, so Spark named himself the patriarch. Lena hadn't resented this, nor did she take him too seriously. She snorted.

"This _is _safety, stupid." She groaned, shaking out her silky red pelt and giving it a few licks. "With foxes and other kinds of things? And almost no prey?" The Tom shot back. Tess's stomach growled, confirming his testimony. "Whatever. Go by yourself. But me and my baby will be staying behind. We won't be that foolish, will we, baby?" Lena purred, moving her way towards Tess, who made no sign of appreciation.

_She never called you baby Tess.. She let daddy beat us. She's a liar. _Spark's eyes pleaded with his siblings, but she couldn't read them. "Fine. I will. But you better keep her safe, you… you bitch." He added the word to his vocabulary the moment Alder had called his daughter that. Now it would reflect on Lena. Lena snarled at him, but said nothing more. He left at a run, praying that she was going to take care of Tess.


	4. Chapter 4: Your Outcome

Chapter Four

His eyes hurt from the wind that stung them

His stomach hurt from lack of his food.

His heart hurt, even though he hadn't thought it possible.

_Mother, I will come home to you. _

_I'm tired, and starved, but your son_

_Mother, I have so much rue_

_For the war that I could have won_

His heart thumped out of his chest as his deadened eyes blurrily led him forward and his legs willed him to keep up with their fast rate. He felt dizzy, like his body was a separate person from his mind, and he needed to stop. Stop. Stop. His disgusting dry, cracked and blood-covered paws touched cold stone. He could have called out, laid down, perhaps jumped if he had the potency. But a horrible scent met his nose.

He fell backwards, overcome by the rotting smell that was coming from the back of the cave. He shut his eyes. _No. _He shouldn't open them. Maybe he could back away and never know what was back there.

But a cat's curiosity, is, of course, what kills it. He had to see what it was. He opened his pale blue eyes and gaped, speechless at what he saw. A crumpled pile of bones met his gaze. He could have run away. But all his body would allow him to do was to raise the hairs on his back all at once. His body felt like the wind was knocked out of it. The flies and decaying corpse was all too much for him. How had this happened? Hadn't he told his mother-

His mother.

She was to blame for the tiny corpse laying a few feet away from him. It was nasty looking, it wasn't his sister at all! He refused to believe that the starry-eyed ball of smoke colored fur was this hollow, horrid skeleton. Death had sculpted away her body until it was too late. His eyes flashed with grief, and he shuddered again. He couldn't go on to pursue this cat. Lena wasn't worth the travel. But Spark could never stay with this stench, this death in the cave. He needed to leave.

This was no longer his home.

"Lena… if I ever find you, you fucking bitch… I will skin you alive. I will do worse…" He promised, as he walked away from the scene that had traumatized him far worse than the abuse he had taken from his father. All that scratching, blood, pain. For nothing. When Lena just finished off Alder's work and managed to kill Tess. Was it doing Tess a favor? She had never said she wanted to live. She never had vigor in her step or smiled at him. She always looked so far away. _She wanted to live. SHE DID. But they took it away. _

Spark shook his head with disgust. How could he ever keep the name that his "Parents" had given him?

He journeyed past the cave, in the opposite direction of his other expedition, and crossed something fierce and black and long. It was called the "two-leg path", as his parents had told him never to go there. What did they care? They probably wanted him to get snatched up by a monster or a two-leg. Would save them a whole lot of trouble of trying to get rid of him themselves.

Crawling into thicker territory, with new scents mingling with old ones, and vermin every this way and that, and tall trees that were grey and hard and taller than any he had ever seen, Spark managed to make himself a temporary life style.

A while later, the morning passed, a hungry looking yellow cat with a hallowed belly trapped him in a corner. _Uh oh._ His thoughts echoed in his mind. "Who are you?" The Tom barked sharply. "Uh, uh…" _Not Spark. I am no longer Spark. _"Leonardo." He blurted, the first name he could think of. The Tom nodded, accepting his lies. "Well, Leonardo, come with me and you'll get protection…"

No sooner, he turned around and took off at a run. Confused, Leonardo came darting after him, trying to balance his clumsy, heavy paws clanging on the tin lids. He finally came to a stop, his breath uneven, as the yellow Tom circled around him, his giant green eyes surveying him again. "This is… Leonardo." He spoke. Leo turned his head, looking for the cat who he was talking to.

Or cats.

"Very good. He is, kind of young, but he will do." They talked of him like he was an object, not a living, breathing cat. Leo looked up at a dark grey Tom with one amber eye. For a moment, he thought it was his father. He unsheathed his claws and let out a growl of pure ire. Then the sight vanished. This was no Alder… This was a city cat. "Calm yourself, Leonardo." The cat said, swishing it's long, thick tail back and forth.

"Would you like the protection of our band?" Suddenly the Tom's one amber eyes was up right next to hi, leering into his two light blue eyes. "Y-yes." Leonardo mumbled, frightened by the eye. The dark breath from the Tom stung his nose. "Louder?" The Tom growled.

"Yes." "Louder!" "Yes!" His shyness had gone. He stood taller, standing face to face with the cat. "Good.. Keep this up, and we might give you a better rank." The cat pondered aloud. "But comrade, you promised me that!" A white she-cat with dark yellow eyes gave an indignant growl.

The leader didn't reply, just stared at Leonardo with his one good eye.

Leo grew with his posse of cats, they fought many battles, but their band was shrinking away. They were not strong enough. Never. Ever. Ever.

"We are dying, because of all of this, you fool!" A she-cat screeched, both her ears torn to bloody stumps and her back clawed and marked on every inch. The Tom didn't reply. He knelt in his puddle of own blood, and sickeningly lay in it. "Good fight, Leo. We won." He gave a bright smile to the Tom. "Are you crazy? We lost! We lost because of you!" Leo staggered towards him, slashing at the dying cat's body. "We won…." The cat droned before disappearing into death's arms.

All feelings had gone from Leo's body. He was drained. Nothing had been for everything. Everything had been for something. The wars were over. This was no longer his territory to proclaim. He was no sovereign, he had lost, just as the rest of them had. He had to leave, once more.


	5. Chapter 5 Cheating Little Liar

Chapter Five

_Would you let me in your group_

_If I told you I was good_

_Would you trust me with your kits_

_If I joined your brotherhood?_

_Would you kill me if I asked_

_Or spared me if I cried?_

_Would it be fair for me to tell you_

_All the times that I have lied?_

The white frost felt cold around his legs. His paws had stopped hurting after a while, when they had been so cold and he had tried to lick them back to warmth-only to find he did more damage. "Just a little farther." He pleaded with his body. He was in the same situation as many moons ago as a young kit, coming back to his mother and sister.

He hated it.

An inviting grey blur was reflected twice in his eyes. He dragged himself through the snow, into the cave. It was warm, and soothed him immensely until he realized that it was already occupied. "Get out!" Rasped a voice from one side of the cave. He swung his head around to be inches from the face of a young, dark blue she-cat. Her eyes were slits, and if he hadn't been so hypnotized by those emerald beauties, he would have realized in time that an unsheathed claw was reaching out to his neck.

"Sorry. Sorry. Thought it was empty." He meowed, hunching over with his tail as thick as a coon's. "Sure you did." She glared, spitting at him in her rage.

"I'll leave now." He turned away, his body pleading with him not to present it with the cold so soon. He considered he was clear, but thought too soon. Her blade like claws were felt going past his skin, almost hitting the spine in the process. He gave a short yowl and twisted around, grabbing her tail with his teeth and biting down as hard as he could. She let go, her claws blood drenched, and he then reached for her pelt.

"No! No!" She yowled, and after his long hard death bite was in place, he suddenly let go. "I'm sorry." She meowed, shrinking. "Sorry? You think I'll accept that now, bitch?" He growled, raising his tail menacingly. "Y-yeah, no, you won't, no… But you can stay in my cave." She nodded vigorously. It was a tempting prospect, and he took his time, twitching his whiskers, while his paws were itching to run back to the warmth. "Fine. Anymore nonsense and you're gone though." He threatened, following her to the cave.

The cave remained his abode for several days. And somehow, somehow in nature's way, the sick twisted way it did things, Red was swooning over Bird. She often hunted for him, but he hated being fed like a young kit, though, incongruously, he had never had the opportunity.

One night she prodded him awake with her paw and he opened one bleary eye at her and grinned. "I need to tell you something." She said. "What." He groaned, rolling over to reveal his stomach. "I, I like you, um, like…" She mumbled. "As a mate?" He asked eagerly. "No. As a friend." She meowed. He turned his head to look at her. He could almost feel the guilt radiating off her. "What did you do, Bird? Did you sleep with someone?" He asked, eyeing her cautiously. "What? No! Of course not!" She meowed. "I just, I just like other she-cats is all. And the other night I met one, and she was real pretty. She was all- "

Red cut her off with a little growl. "What the- that is sick! Disgusting!" He said. He had less emotional feelings toward her, the anger building up. He was dumb enough to be hanging around someone like this. "And, well, I don't really like…" He finished it for her.

"Me." He growled. "Please don't hurt me." She mewed softly. He got up and started to go off. "I'm going make you pay…" He promised, too angry to notice the change in the sudden cold to his paws. "No!" She jumped at him from behind a second time. He turned around, grabbed her neck and twisted.

A sick bone breaking sound issued from her neck, and he dropped her, her bloody corpse, to the ground. "I'm not sorry." He muttered.

Why hadn't his heart exploded like hers had just did. But hers had been literal. Nothing really touched him after that. It seemed there were walls built up to his heart now that only the smartest, the best she-cat could ever break. Even as he did his lone walk up to the mountains where he now rests, even though he told himself he didn't want to be bothered, something told him that he did. That even though life was hard and always would be, that little voice in his head that sung to him like Tess would have if she could, wanted him to be happy.

"But I am happy, by myself." He meowed, arguing once more with himself on a foggy morning. Nothing really went his way though. He could never, ever be happy.

His eyes found the perfect spot, a tiny crevice along the steepest walls, where not many could pass without falling to a tremendously painful death. This would be his home for a while.

When finally reaching it, his paws and legs scratched and cut for the umpteenth time when all the loose, jagged edges spared him no mercy, he sighed a long, deep sigh of relief and nestled in a corner of the cave at the far back, furthest from the view and the wind.

Gradually, he would be able to look down at the forest and notice life, but for now, he had found something safe, and warm, and something that not many would want. The less wanted, the better, in his opinion.

Something whispered in his ear as he slept.

_Listen closely, the drops of rain_

_Playing music in my ears_

_And when I've died or gone insane_

_Only then will I have no fears _

Too bad he didn't know that life ahead wouldn't be so monotone.


	6. Chapter 6: New Fire

Chapter Six

_I weep harder than the willow_

_A bloody past, etched in my bones_

_And though my tribulations shall live on_

_My tears and fears will never show _

Seven days. Seven days since he had been away from the cave. The longest in, what seemed, forever. And why had he gone from the shelter of his cave?

For the need of food. That rat had been fine enough to last him a day before he was placed back in his woebegone position without any more prey. And although he was dastardly enough to stay away from others for so long, his stomach now controlled his body.

He found the wide grey, succulent fields enticing. His paws thanked him so as he rested them in the grass. It was like learning to walk again-he had to take caution, to not push himself no matter how ready he thought he was. And, the final step, and the most crucial. Never. Give. Up.

The bushy, twisting tail of a squirrel was slowly making its way across the ground. The powerful scent filled his nose, and he oh so wanted to leap at it and just grab it by the neck and chew the thing up live.

But a hunter doesn't fall to such standards. They hold themselves with poise, and patience. He had to learn. He inched forward, his belly fur scraping the ground as he lifted one oversized paw after the other. He could barely hear his own breathing, so he must've been doing well. So close, so close. _This is how it's done, Tess. _He thought. Oh, if she could see him now. It still stung a little with guilt to mention her, but it hurt less than the first time he thought of her.

Abruptly, his prey bolted, and the reason was seen a moment later. A black furred she-cat, slender and small, had also claimed the squirrel. She was chasing it and widening her stride beautifully until she ran into him, head first.

"Nice try." He said, disappointed that his first meal of the day was now up a tree and out of reach. But her sudden arrival had taken him aback, and he wasn't sure of what else to say to her. She had leapt over him and was now glaring at him. She demanded how he appeared out of nowhere.

"I was always here." He said plaintively, searching her eyes with his own pale blue ones, that is, if she would stop disconnecting eye contact with him. Indeed she was a cautious one. She wouldn't tell him much, which was expected of strangers.

"Well, go on now." He moved over so he she could pass. She looked at him like he was crazy, and suddenly he understood. He gave a small nod and went to go find something else. Amazingly, a mouse presented itself at the twisted roots of a tree and he snatched it up in his claws. She looked a little angered.

"Oh, did you need that prey?" He asked, a feeling of guilt writhing uncomfortably in his stomach. She gave an resentful huff and trotted off to find something else. "But yes, I did need that mouse, did you not?" She meowed.

He dropped the mouse at her feet. Suddenly, a gentleman side of him was being shown. Where did he ever get this? "Nah, keep it." He meowed. "Be safe." Be safe? What was he, some kind of guard?

She looked quite nervous at his gesture and kind of stuttered when she spoke next. "Y-you don't need it?" She asked. "Well thanks, I guess." She looked at him again. What was in her eyes-fear, anger? Amusement?

"Well, can I at least know your name? Mine's Dusk." The dark grey she-cat said. "Red." He told her flatly. It felt odd to say his third name like that. Like saying a strangers name, when you aren't sure how you pronounce it but you are afraid to ask.

"Goodbye, Red." She hurried off past him, past the cloaking forests and the light gray grass into a cave. He dared not followed her. She certainly was hunting for more than one cat.

He watched her being swallowed into the darkness of the cave and smiled. Had he just done that? Had he just socialized with someone? Through his moons and moons of remoteness?

He was too tired to bring himself up back to his own dwelling, so he slept under a pine tree that night, the needles surrounding him while he snoozed. He did this for several days until one morning…

Something warm and soft dropped on him. Intuition took over, and he jumped to his paws, bristling slightly. The same she-cat he had seen a few days ago was standing next to him. "Why-hello." He meowed, quite agitated that his nap had been stirred by her. Her motion was toward the squirrel she had just deposited on him. "Is this mine?" He asked suspiciously.

"Well, of course. I don't just go as a charity either. This is to pay you back for the debt. Oh, no! Wait, you didn't live with your kits or mate or anything? Oh shit! Did they need that?" She asked in a vexed sort of way.

It took a moment for him to grasp the concept of what she had just said. Kits? Kits-kits, the furry bundles that arrived from the womb of a cat? What-no, he had no such thing.

"I… I don't have…" His throat was blocked in agony. "Kits." He managed to whisper. She was eyeing him with a sympathetic look but it vanished quickly.

For the next few days, the she-cat was a constant companion when they would go to hunt. They made a magnificent surplus, and she was always paying him in interest so as not to fall into the "debt" that she so loathed.

Dusk often talked of her mother in an idolizing/adoring fashion, always adding how her mother took good care of her, and how she had fought cats many times to prevent them from hurting Dusk. So now Dusk was the one responsible for feeding her mother.

He thought it kind of odd how shielding Poppy was of her daughter Dusk, but assumed that was what _normal _mothers were like, as his mother was far from that.

Their time together cracked his stone heart and revealed a softer later that surprised even him. He even felt that he could touch her now. And on a sunny, breezy chilled morning, he did so. He brushed his pelt against hers, trying to make it seem as accidental as possible. She flinched and moved away, and he tried not to let his tail drop or she would know that it was planned.

After she had gone back to the cave where she and her mother lived with a mouthful of prey, he thought he would let himself sleep under a tree again, but his plan was foiled as a hissy, spitting, tall, fiery eyed she-cat stalked out of the den, her daughter trailing behind her. Clearly, she had scented him on her daughter's fur and was enraged.

"Is this the Tom? I thought you said he was old…" She growled at her daughter. Dusk shook her head. "Good afternoon, Madame." He said with etiquette in practice. She asked him a series of questions concerning her adoptive child and then left.

Red had a feeling that Dusk was still a child in her mother's mind and that she could control her how she pleased. This, technically, was true. Dusk was dwarfed by her mother's size.

He turned his head to one side to hear echoes from the cave. Poppy's raspy voice saying. "You may _not _see him again!" He snorted as he heard Dusk's wail of "Moooom!"

He curled up, grinning to himself. Perhaps someone did care.

A heart of fire, has gone out

The embers trickling low

Yet it takes one word, just to be heard

To make the sparks that glow

**Credits to Apprentice Writer, who let me use her characters Poppy and Dusk in this story. Hope it is suitable, Appy. **


	7. El Fin

El Fin

He wondered why his tail was shaking nervously before the rest of him realized just why. He knew that she was there, and his chest is thudding deeply until he can hardly stand it.

He _had _to go. It wouldn't be fair. He had sworn to himself to protect Dusk and Poppy, no matter how angry he might get or how tired he was. Did she know? Did she know about his makeshift family? How the threesome worked together to provide safety and fresh kill for each other? He could never let her rip him apart from them.

And how had she survived that long? He thought that she had been dead for quite some time. Honestly, it was a shock to see that she was there. But his paws turned to claws and his eyes turned to slits. If this was how it was, so be it.

His eyes almost burned at the sigh of her. Her spine was like a bumpy mountain across her back, clearly visible through her mangy, lice populated fur. Her crusted eyes looked at him with a sinister expression that he knew only she could do. Her dried, bloody paw pads shuffled toward him, and he took a step back, revolted.

Her ragged crimson fur, if you would be kind and call it that blew in the wind, and her scent was so unfamiliar to him, he was frightened to identify her as his mother.

"You came back." He grunted, widening the space between his front legs so as to give off a dominant position. "Of course I did, for my lovely son." She proceeded to wrap her tail around his. He jerked away from her touch; an icy feel came off of it.

"What's the matter?" She asked, her eyes glinting with cruel, unmistakable, contentment. "You know very well, bitch. Don't even mess with me." He snarled. His hackles had raised already, and the blood was pounding in his ears at a rapid fire.

"Oh, was it… Tess?" How dare she mention her deceased daughter. The one she had left behind-no, killed.

He gave out a yowl and plunged his whole body at hers. Her brittle frame crumbled beneath his massive one in seconds. He kept clawing at her body till there was almost no more fur visible, and a pool of burgundy has gently encircled her body. In reality, there was no competition between him and her.

She would have died pretty soon of old age if not been slain by her son. But it was the emotional aspect of the fight that put him at rest. Something in his head unlocked, and now he could truly sleep without thinking of Tess, and his unfinished promise.

_It's finished forever_

_The dragon's been slain_

_Not there to hurt you_

_To bring you the pain_

_I made sure myself_

_That I avenged your death_

_From the time you were born _

_To your final breath _

He knelt in the snow, and shut his eyes. The small grey she-cat was purring at his side, looking on at their dead mother. "I love you." He whispered to her. He strained his ears, his eyes still held shut. Be he could've sworn that she repeated it back to him.


End file.
